Survivorship- celebrating the small victories
Recently, I've realized that my hair is long enough to start clogging the drain in my shower again. Rather than feeling a slight repulsion about the clump of hair, it makes me smile every time I step into the shower. Intellectually, I knew that having my hair again would make me happy, but the physical joy that I feel when I experience it is truly pleasurable. Here are a few other small (and large) victories I have felt fully with my body, mind and spirit:
walking through the grocery store and realizing I no longer had to cling tightly to the handle of the cart for support
the incredible sensation of literally feeling your cells come back to life- kind of like having billions of tiny balloons re-inflate themselves inside of your skin
being able to breath deeply again, without pain or wheeziness
hearing my son's authentic joy at seeing me in my work out clothes again- "Mama, you look so beautiful"
having enough energy to be out and about on adventures with my family, and not having to rest for the remainder of the day
watching the transformation to my eyes as the eye lashes began to grow in again
The list could go on and on.
I find it important to internally identify and note these changes, because they help me to have a deep appreciation for my health and my body, as well as assisting me in cultivating a deep compassion for what my loved ones and I went through. I did exercise this during treatment as well, because often my anticipation of how I would feel was much worse than what I actually felt.
I see this as a vital part of reclaiming myself, of emotional healing, and as a counterpoint to when I feel those feelings of frustration about the losses we have experienced. It's about having a healthy balance of the two, our celebrations and our sorrows, to walk in this world as a resilient person.
I'd love to hear about your small victories, feel free to share them below. Let's inspire one another.
- Stephanie McLeod-Estevez, LCPC, is an art therapist and breast cancer survivor. She began Creative Transformations to help others who are healing from a life threatening illness or injury. Creative Transformations offers individual sessions, in person or via Skype, workshops, and this weekly blog. Sign up today so you never miss one by visiting: www.creative-transformations.com, where you will also find the links to our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.